ok first of all you have to just let them be for a while. constant shaving, exfoliating, and scrubbing could just be making them more irritated. and you should really try waxing. make sure you get it done professionally to prevent ingrown hairs. you only really need to exfoliate about once a week, and after wards you can use an astringent with benzoyl peroxide to eliminate bumps and ingrown hair. when in the shower, do not scrub them, wash them gently. u also may want to switch to a mild deodorant, or if u can just avoid deodorant for a while until they start getting better. it might take some time, but if ur patient u can have nice underarms and get ur confidence back